So, I must admit I have been feeling very overwhelmed as of late. I don't like to post these kinds of things, because I really try to be positive. I feel like I have a tendency to look at the negative in life rather than the positive. This is very much a weakness for me. I really have to make an effort to have a good attitude every day.
I almost feel like I am drowning. Some of my stresses as of late include a dirty house, lack of patience with my kids, keeping finances straight, feeling like I am not teaching my children enough about life and the gospel, forgetting prayers and scripture study(both personal and family), and much more. I just feel like I can never catch up with everything and get organized.
So, here is the deal. I have decided that if you help me out, I will help you out and then you can help someone else out(if you choose). Sort of like a pay if forward deal, but it is up to you to pay it forward. I am not going to hold you to doing so. I would like any of you to leave me a comment as to what you do to become more organized/not feel so overwhelmed. It can be anything. In return, I will pick a winner, or two, or three to sew something for. You can choose for whom I sew the item, but you can not pick the item. I will make a cute little pinny dress for your daughter, or some p.j. pants for you, or perhaps a cute little monster appliqued on a shirt for your little monster. We will see what I come up with. So, come on all you fabulous people and help me out!
Just a little side note.....you can expect your little gift within the next three months. Thanks for all of your help!
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16 comments:
I don't keep organized until my mom says she is coming into town. That always puts a fire under my butt to get my house in order.
Start your day with the Scriptures. Even if it is only one verse at first. If you take time to fill your spiritual tank the other seems to come. Maybe when the baby wakes, give her her bottle and sit and read for a few minutes then say your prayers. By the way I think you are a wonderful mother. I couldn't ask for a better daughter-in-law (I just want to write "daughter" because I feel like that about you). Don't be so hard on yourself. Focus more on the good things. Make yourself a little schedule of what you would like to do today and then be happy when you have accomplished only one. Do the others another day. I love you and you are always in my prayers.
Sarah you are WONDERFUL! I can't tell you how often I think of you and just want to be half the mother you are. I look up to you all the time and want to be like you ALL the time. I'm trying to think of the things that I do...I don't have any kids, so I can't relate in that area, but we can pretend Tra' is one. I just PRAY like crazy. You are not alone feeling overwhelmed. I wish I was there to be with you...we would have so much fun and I could help you with the kids...I would LOVE that. Mom is right though, you just gotta fill that spiritual tank and the rest will fall into place. It's OK to post these things every once in awhile, I DID IT! It's just nice to vent. Definitely start focusing on the positive things in life. Write down 5 things you are grateful for every day. I did that back in high school and I really liked it. LOVE YOU! :)
I have felt a lot like you do, and still do sometimes. Of course I don't have little ones anymore, but I really think it is not a matter of being organized, but a matter of not wanting to clean house, or read scriptures, or whatever. For instance, I love a clean house, but I hate to clean it. I like the feeling I get after I read the scriptures, but I hate to read them. (I am not one of those people who love the scriptures-terrible huh); but I still try to read them. I have found that if I can find something to look forward to every day, and have a certain time that I am going to to the thing I enjoy (like meeting a friend for lunch at the park, or reading a book, or window shopping, going to a movie, etc.) then I hurry up and get the things done that I don't like to do, so that I can go and do the thing I like.
One thing I have found that helps me with scriptures, is that when I have a routine, it works the best. In the morning when we are eating breakfast, one of us reads the scriptures. Even if Spencer is eating a bowl of cereal, I will read if he is in a hurry. I have also found this is a good time to help Spencer with his merit badges.
I think especially when you have small children, you need to be around other friends. So take time for this, and take care of yourself. Remember also, the work will always be there tomorrow.
A friend of mine told me that the first thing I should do before I even get out of bed is think of something good about myself. This is not always easy, but it helps. She also said to find something to laugh about every day.
By the way, if I win, you don't need to make me anything. Just more pressure on you that you don't need. Smile, and have a great day.
I hear ya! My patience has been short of late and I'm always wondering if I'm teaching the gospel well enough and in a way my kids will understand. So two things come to mind.
1. On Sundays, we used to have a family council discussing the week. Every part of it. We plan meals, we pencil events into everyone's calendars, we discuss the best times to pray/read scriptures depending on changing work schedules. You name it, it was all planned out on Sunday as a family. Like I said, we "used" to do this. James and I need to get on it again.
2. We pick one night a week to go over finances together as a couple. It became a lot less stressful when we were constantly watching where the money was going.
3. List your priorities and tack them to your fridge or where ever you'll see them. ie husband, family, gym, swimming etc. When something doesn't fit into your top five? Let it go. Have your husband and kids do the same so that everyone has their top priorities and can let go of excess.
4. Take time away from it all even if it's just five minutes. Do what you love whether that's reading, sewing, taking a long bath, going for a walk. Just set it aside every day/once a week. Whatever you feel would be best.
I really hope some of these ideas work for you! Being overwhelmed is an awful feeling! It doesn't mean you're negative. Just that you need a break. I still think you're one of the happiest people I know!
As you can see, a few more things came to mind... haha!
Sarah-
I am glad that I don't have this problem...
Yeah right I am the worst at orginization but I do have a couple of ideas for you.
1) For family prayer buy a cheap alarm clock and set it for 8:30 pm (or what ever time you want to do family prayer in the evining or morning) and teach everyone in the family that when it goes off they all have to meet in the living room (or where ever) for family prayer. With the kids you could have a reward system where the first to be ready for prayer gets a sticker and five stickers gets a ____.
This idea was taught to me on the mission - I thought it was the law of moses when the mission pres. said we all had to be praying at the same time everymorning through out the mission but it works.
2) Keep a calendar and mark it with symbols or something to keep track of success or failure (p-pm for evening prayer, s for scripture etc.) this way you can see how well you are doing or where you need to improve. Keep it somewhere where you'll see it.
3) I hate to clean but love a clean house. When I clean I like to have music playing and the blinds open. I like the day light and love singing along with my favorite music (luckily for me and everyone else I am usually home alone while I clean). Try to make it as fun as possible for you. I have to shut the TV off though or I never get anything done.
4) Set goals and share them with Mike. I did this a while ago but did not share them with Maria but she found where I had written them down and asked me about them, it was alot easier to stay on top of them when I knew someone else was going to keep me accountable. Reward yourself when you accomplish the goals.
5) Share the work. Maria and I just wrote down all the chores we needed to get done today and put them in a hat and chose chores. I have to clean both bathrooms, pick up the basement, and mop, and I have not started so I best get going.
-Jake
Keeping your house organized with kids is hard. I have started making my kids do some of their own things. You probably read I freaked out on mine and took all of their toys away.
If we pick up at the end of the day that helps. It is a constant nagging to remind my kids to pick up after themselves. I am hoping by the end of the month they will be responsible enough to get their toys back.
They each have jobs too. They have to put their own laundry away, as much as they are capable. My 4 & 5 year old put the clothes in their drawers and I hang the others up.
I try to do scriptures at bedtime to help the kids unwind. It isn't always easy.
I am definitely not one to tell you. These are a few things that help me.
I also divide my jobs into days.
Laundry on Monday and Tuesday now days. I can't get it done in one day anymore.
Bathrooms on Wednesday, Vaccuum on Thursday, etc. Not exactly that schedule but you get the idea.
I hope things get better. Just don't let yourself get overwhelmed. It makes you more frustrated.
wow.
I just came to leave a frivolous comment about the song you commented on on my blog.
and here we are.
Okay. So. First off, I think it's healthy to acknowledge our disappointments, frustrations, sadness, overwhelmness, whatever word you want to assign it. I think it's totally better to raise a red flag and talk about it.
As you can see, already... it reminds us we aren't alone. That it's not that everyone else has this nice white picket fence, and we are the ones trying to build a brick wall out of sand and dirt.
So, pat yourself on the back for PUBLISHING your post. Yay for you.
Moving on. I am going to AMEN Ellen. You have to keep you spritual (she says Tank, I say Canteen full) or if not full, at least pay attention to where that's at first and do something every day to put some drops or gallons in. This is important - EVERY DAY.
I would then like to point out your own personal Canteen. You have to do things for yourself too. As mothers our whole day is dictated by other whole beings. Are they healthy, are they eating the right things, are they being nice, are they safe... blah blah blah.
What about YOU? Are you happy? healthy? etc. If it's late at night or early in the morning, do what you can to just be SARAH. Not Mike's wife, not Caden's mom... but SARAH.
Bottom line, it appears I need to call you. So I will! Talk soon.
Know that you are loved beyond measure... literally. LITERALLY!
p.s. I think Jake had some great ideas that I will be stealing.
Sarah-
You are great!!! I couldn't agree with you more right now. Life can be very overwhelming. I struggled for about 3 weeks and I'm starting to feel a little better now. I'm so sure that satan is attacking women right now. If he can get us down, or discouraged, then he gets the whole family. My problem is that I could see everything that needed to be done, but I just didn't have the motivation to do it. I would sit on the couch and feed the baby and get so down because I was so overwhelmed with all of the responsibilities that I had. I finally got on my knees and prayed. It really did help. I sometimes get wrapped up in thinking everything needs to be perfect and I have to remember how I want my kids to remember me. Hang in there!! Hugs!!
Oh my dear sister.....you already know what I do when I feel overwhelmed....I CALL YOU!
I am bawling right now just thinking about this.....
For me personally, I have to feel like someone understands and that my stresses are normal and that they can be overcome. So many times, YOU are the one that helps me to realize these things and I know that you care about me deeply, that will love me, not judge me and think that I am horrible person for wanting to sell my children or punch my husband on occasion. Because you know that I wouldn't really make "good" on my heated threats and that I am just blowing-off steam.
I think that everyone really that already commented gave excellent advice and I know that I couldn't top it....which is completely fine.
Here is my two cents....
1)Complain to someone that loves you and won't judge you and will just listen and let you get it out.
2)Tell yourself that it is okay to just accomplish ONE thing on that list in your mind and if you do you get that imaginary gold star on your head for the day.
3)Arrange to do something just for you....go to a movie, go to dinner (without kids), make something (cooking, sewing, coloring, etc.), get a pedicure, get your hair done, really anything that you would like to do.
4)Fill up that spiritual tank or canteen (as has already been mentioned) by reading your scriptures, reviewing and pondering your patriarchal blessing, and praying (this can even be done when you are driving...heaven help us if they decide to pull people over for praying while driving....pray always....Heavenly Father is ALWAYS listening and he even cares about the little things!
5)Remember (if you can.....my brain is often found turned-off...hope that you don't have this same problem)....remember that "this is but a small moment" and that our Savior knows and comprehends all that you are dealing with. Don't give up....get through the next five minutes over and over again....like I do. We must pass through trials and afflictions in order to comprehend and appreciate the good times. And, might I add....so that we can be compassionate with others....you have already got this one down.
YOU ARE THE BEST!!!! I love you sooooooooo much! You are in my driving prayers and more.
I thank my Heavenly Father daily that he allowed me to have such an amazing friend and sister!!! You make my day everyday and I am not just saying that.
First of all delegate. It's Mikies job to make sure you guys have family prayer and scripture study. Make him do it.
I scoured the interwebs a few years back looking for time management stuff. There is a lot out there. I finally settled on a reading a book called "Getting Things Done" because there was a very passionate group of people out there singing it's praises. That book totally changed me. Seriously, it filled in all the missing gaps for me. I eventually developed my own seminar using it's topics and I taught it to my company (received "most valuable" and "best overall" awards out of 80 sessions). Now I teach it at church functions and other times. It's a great book. Costs about 10 bucks on Amazon. I can send you my power point presentation with my notes typed up if you want the fast version.
Sis....I forgot one that I have found has been very helpful to me.
6)Exercise.....I know that this is really hard to do with little kids. It has helped me in so many ways when I do it...I feel so much better about myself....my body seems to sleep better (when the kids let me)....my hormones seem to even out more....and I don't feel like my body is dragging as much. It doesn't seem to make any sense that when I exercise, I seem to have more energy. Also with this, I personally try not to eat late at night....but, I do indulge at times....it is important to reward yourself but just not go overboard. Love you.....just couldn't keep from mentioning this last one....it has been on my mind all night and morning.
Sara I think you do great but sometime even the greatest can get over whelmed. If your not already I would start having the kiddos help around the house, even small things like putting toys away and taking folded laundry to there room and putting it up can help. As for finance I find that ir helps to figure out how much a month you need for the house payment, utilities, credit card and all the other bills that come in and put that amount and maybe a little more for breathing room in a separate bank account so you always know that you have the money to pay those bills. It also makes it easier to figure what you have to spend on food and extra things.
It's funny you should bring this up. I recently made Jim give a FHE lesson on this very subject because I was feeling like I was getting nothing accomplished, and that I was already at the bottom of my "lake of things to do". It's pretty simple, but we had to simplify my list. We read some Ensign articles on priorities. We came up with a simplified list. You might say it's more categorical.
Here's my new list:
1. Study Scriptures
2. Exercise (even if it's just 5 minutes)
3. Plan (budget, packing lunches for the next day, set visiting teaching appointments, etc.)
4. Have fun
These are things I was having an extremely hard time doing. Now, if I get one thing done in each category every day, it's a successful "list" day.
The trick, overall, I think is to simplify. Just keep going. The adversary would like us to think of ourselves as failures, and in thinking that, we might actually start to believe that we're truly failing. It's hard for everyone sometimes & it's okay to complain, but it's easy to forget that you really are accomplishing a lot. You do amazing things!
I love this post Sarah... it reminds us that we are all human. I think that we sometimes think everyone else is so on top of things and we are the only ones struggling. I feel this way often too. My advice...just pick one thing you want to work on and try to be perfect in that area... then move on to something new.
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